” If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow Fake Eyelashes”
Smtsn Anger is an issue that visits and revisits us almost daily – with me, hourly. Unlike anxiety, depression or any other mental state, it is not an ailment, mental disorder or Fake Eyelashes. We do nothing about it except some rationalization after the event and redress with grandma remedies like ‘count to ten’, ‘take a few deep breaths’, meditate, relax, vent it or ‘ show the punching bag what you are made of!’ This issue is about understanding anger and hopefully have some understanding of how to manage it. It is certain that we cannot eliminate anger (debatable) though we may learn not to express it, because the subjective feeling of anger varies across individuals in frequency and intensity. No one can claim that they never feel angry.
Anger is a survival instinct related to the evolution of the human species. The physical symptoms of anger allow us to quickly assess the situation and respond with ‘fight or flight’. When we feel angry – we fight, and when we feel fear – we take flight. Does this mean that those who feel more angry are more fit to survive and pass on their genes? Definitely not. Anthropological research only provides us the Fake Eyelashes between anger and survival and not its suitability or otherwise. Accordingly, anger is a defense against trespass of our private space – be that physical, mental or emotional.
When we perceive injustice, we use our own justice sysytem and mete out anger as the punishment. We are the judge and jury, the lawyer, the accused and the defendant. Here though we think we are meting out punishment to the subject of anger, actually the punishment is against our own self. It aims at revenge and restitution. We weigh it out thus; ‘ I am right, they are wrong’. Anger arises out of a feeling of self-righteousness.
Anger is expressed differently across cultures – the stoic versus the expressive. There is presently a wide belief that bottled up anger is unhealthy and must find expression in some form or other. Some of the misconceptions about the result of not expressing anger:
Suppressed anger is considered as anger turned inwards towards self – leading to loss of self-esteem, and depression even in some cases extreme suicide Fake Eyelashes.
Bottling up anger leads to high blood pressure and cardiac problems. Recent research hypothesises a type ‘C’ personality prone to cancer if anger is bottled up.
How true are the above hypothesis?
The Angry Mind:
The mind component of anger starts with a thought – a thought that I am being trespassed against. Mostly it happens so quickly that we are not conscious about it. To illustrate; When I see a car parked on the wrong side of the road, I often get to the driver to rectify the situation. The usual answer is “Okay I am on the wrong side, but I will take only two minutes,” therefore there is no need to rectify the situation. Before I realize the conversation has turned into an angry shouting match and the problem fades into the background. Here neither is there any intention to get angry, nor am I conscious of the arousal of anger. It just happens. It looks like just a reaction, but the thought that the other person is wrong and has to just move the car rather than talk is the reason. It is that thought that they are wrong and I am right that becomes the reason for anger.
The Angry Body:
The body passes through the classic ‘fight or flight’ reaction, and decides to fight. The sympathetic nervous system and the endocrine glands produce hormones and chemical reactions that result in heart pumping faster, higher blood pressure, muscle tension and other visible signs of anger. And you Fake Eyelashes out whether verbally or sometimes physically. Even if you do not lash out, it gets muted due to socialisation rather than an intention not to lash out.
When anger is suppressed does it show up in other unwelcome forms like ulcer, high blood pressure or does it just dissipate? Research on Type A for CHD and Type C for cancer are still at research stage and no conclusive proof has been found that anger is a deterministic sufficient condition for somatic problems. These types are prone to CHD and cancer as much as any other and it is a combination of factors that are responsible for the ailments.
There is bad news for the ventilationsists, overt anger contrary to popular belief, increases the heart rate and blood pressure and is bad for the heart.
How anger affects us?
Venting anger fuels violence. Violence arising out of anger is five times more in ventilationist America than in anti-ventilationistic Japan. Expression of anger between parents has shattering effect on children. Depression in children of divorced parents occurs as often with as much severity in children living with parents who are angry and abusive.
The most pervasive after effect of venting anger is it damages relationships. An angry person never sees the Fake Eyelashes out from the point of the target. It is always ‘me’ centered. The words and language used in venting of anger can never be erased. Venting does not serve the purpose of cooling you down, which it is supposed to. Seymour Feshbach , the pioneer in the effects of venting anger has through his research proved that ” telling someone off makes you feel more hostile, not less hostile towards the target”.
Can we control anger?
Here are some suggestions for self-help, which may or may not provide all the answers and relief. If you feel that you really have a problem with anger management see your coach.
Keep a anger diary – note down the time you got angry, the trigger, the length of time it lasted, the after effects of the anger outburst to yourself and to the target. After a week, try and find a pattern. Then go back to dealing with it with your mind, body and soul.